Household Upgrades in the Simplest Form | Schlage Custom Eller Lever with Collins Trim Hall-Closet and Bed-Bath Lock

*Disclaimer: These products were gifted to me however all opinions are my own

When we bought our home I knew there were upgrades that needed to happen. We stripped the carpets and old vinyl flooring, we finished the basement and added a custom bathroom to boot. We added luxury vinyl plank throughout the main level, styled with new furniture and started to design a space that really reflected our style. These were things that I knew we needed to do to make our house a home. What I didn’t realize is the snowball effect it would have on the rest of the house. With these newly improved spaces, I realized that the hardware we had in our home, was no longer reflecting the type of vibe and feel that the rest of the house had. We wanted something classic and refined; something tasteful and elegant. We wanted to make a small improvement to create the home we have always wanted, and Schlage was right there to help us make that happen.

Our current home is a blank slate! It is 5 years old and holds most of the standard/manufacturer chosen hardware and fixtures. The previous owner picked everything in the home and it is a great “blank slate” for me to put my touch on. This is our first home and design was something I’ve always wanted to dive into. I’m not very handy, I can’t make a lot of things but I have big dreams and big ideas!

We chose the Schlage Custom Eller Lever with Collins Trim Hall-Closet and Bed-Bath Lock. I loved the look of these because there was something about the matte black against the white doors that I loved. I loved the contrast and I think it really makes a statement.

TJ spent the better portion of the morning installing the hardware and trust me, if TJ can do it, anyone can do it! We are not Mr/Mrs Fix-its and we are definitely not DIYers (considering we hired someone to do our floors and build our basement. I would never trust myself or TJ to do such a thing (;P). They were easy enough to install and came with matching black faceplates. We had eight levers to uninstall/install so you can imagine what that was like. One thing I wanted to mention was, you do have the option of having them with the lock or without. The lock is a push-pin style that is discreet and just below the lever itself. It is truly a customizable piece with a lovely aesthetic.

While I don’t think there was anything wrong with our fixtures to begin with, I do feel as if this simple upgrade has created a much more elegant space. It’s crazy how something so simple can create a more modern and elevated look with the simple change of colour and style. Can’t wait to share with you guys more of our design projects as we go!

I Hate My Spouse a Little Bit Everyday

I hate TJ on a good day, I hate TJ on a bad day. I basically hate him a little more or a little less on any given day.

Don’t get me wrong, he is a great dad. He would give anyone the shirt off his back. But I hate him. I hate him to the point it makes me want to rip out my eyes.

You may ask, why are you saying this? Why are you writing this? Why are you with this person?

The answer is, I don’t know. I feel a type of catharsis to writing it out and saying it out loud and screaming it to the world. It’s a lot easier than screaming it to his face. I’ve put my blog on hold for the past few months. I knew I needed to write this and get this off my chest. The heaviness of not writing this has had a sort of a block on all the other pieces I’ve needed to get out.

I hate him for small things. Like the way he opens the milk carton and leaves the plastic tab off the milk and leaves it on the counter, or how I’m looking for him and he’s always in the bathroom, or when I am looking for him and he doesn’t say he’s gone out. I hate how the kids or myself ask him to fix something and he completely ignores it. [One time, I told him I was stuck in the closet after fixing it and was calling him for help, he never came and doesn’t remember me asking him..]. I can’t for the life of me understand why I chose this person to be my partner.

I hate him for many more reasons; he has undoubtably ruined my life on more than one occasion. Cost me friends, family, work; my sanity. He has let me down time and time again. To the point where I have walked away.

I have blamed TJ for years of short-comings, years of emotional turmoil, years of confusion and “trying”. I have blamed him that my life is not where I want it to be. Reading this now, I sound like a huge tw*t. I sound like a terrible person. I sound like I’m the one with the problem. It’s true. I AM the one with the problem.

For years, I was blindly in love with TJ. To the point, I couldn’t see straight. I lost relationships, burned bridges, and lost who I was. All for him. I didn’t see myself do it until I spent some time, finding myself.

Okay, okay guys, this is my rant. You let me have it, now let me get to the point of this entry. It’s not to just bash on TJ. The poor guy. He has been so nice to me lately. Probably the “nicest” he has been in — years.

Now let me get to the nitty gritty of it all. TJ and I have some amazing years together, we have some mediocre years together, and we have some God damn awful years together. But over the years, I’ve just found a way to dislike him even more. I literally see all of his shortcomings. Things that are important to me are not important to him, he isn’t mindful of everything I want him to be mindful of. His forgetfulness has become contagious. I am not the person I felt like I once was. 

I am not the person I once was when I first met TJ. I was uptight, sheltered — naïve. I had this image in my mind of what “love” and “relationships” should be. I had this image of him in my head that didn’t exist. I wanted him to be something he isn’t. I learned that the problem with me hating TJ, wasn’t TJ, it was me.

My problem was, I wanted TJ to be someone he isn’t. I wanted him to be better, do better, and be more like me.. better :P. We have had many conversations about how we are so different. I’ve come to terms that while we are so different, there is so much of us that is the same. We have the same dreams, the same goals, we want the same life. We are so aligned that way. I think that’s why we both kept coming back.

When I went on my personal journey to finding myself, I learned about what I wanted for my life, and what was truly important to me. Beyond the milk cartons, and beyond the forgetfulness.. those are the small things in life. They are more like life’s annoyances like mosquitos in the summer. They will always be there, but it’s the big stuff that matters.

We have beautiful children, a lovely home, and our hearts are both full of love. That’s when I knew he was my person. Not only did he see things the same way as I did, but he has more love in his heart than I have in the world. His kindness to others goes far beyond mine. He has more love to give than I do.

I guess my point is, life isn’t perfect and neither is our relationship. I will probably spend the rest of my life questioning it for the little things when the big things are no longer in sight. At the end of the day, it’s the big things that matter. It’s the fact that we have the same dreams, same goals, and have the same core values that really allows us to be together and want to stay together even when things aren’t “working out”.